ilovefuzz.com

"Hey...hey...Cervix...remember that funny thing we did...that was pretty great right? You want to do it again?"

With great confidence comes great wonfidence.

Goddamn I have some cervix material that would slay here, but my marriage would be over.

A stich in time saves 9. ....if ya know what I mean, just wait till that heals really good then it's like being touched for the very first time ya dig?

To clarify the big news about my child's testicles:

I asked the nurse why his balls are so fucking big, and she said "yeah...he's just a big boy..."

Wait what did you just hit on my seven hour-old? Because I mean I don't wanna brag, but I've seen my fair share of infant testicles. I have LIVED, after all. And these are no run-of-the-mill nads. I mean I believe her, but let's have for respect and NOT REFER TO THE BABY ONLY BY HIS GENITALS. I mean balls as synecdoche for baby is inappropriate, right? Who talks about baby balls like that?

I used to think that the sack was just your bladder, but was confused by the actual balls, and terrified I'd have to pee them out one day.

Ok I'll stop talking about balls (no I won't).

#proudpapa

Researching ball reduction surgery now.

You may have heard of dad dick. But do you know about Baby Balls?

Poor guy's gonna be taller sitting down than standing up.

Q: hey what's bigger than a golf ball but smaller than a Volkswagen?

A: my kid's balls.

Half hour comedy special coming out. "Bawlin' and Ballin.'"

Pronounce THAT, JonnyAngle. You know what I'm tocking about.

Congrats on your little sack whacker there, mate.

i'm sure the rest of the kid will grow around the balls just fine. sometimes they develop the stuff they are more likely to use most before the other stuff :-)

Congrats on the balls, I'man.

Invisible Man wrote:Poor guy's gonna be taller sitting down than standing up.

Like his balls are a gigantic hippoty hop? Like that episode of South Park? I feel like I'm missing something here.