Shitty movies

[fcknoise]

some grade a shit movies! love it.

i use to watch all those shark movies when i was in london...there was a channel called Si-Fi...every night there was a shit movie like that.

the best of the bunch for me was 2-Headed Shark Attack...i think the whole movie was based on someone's thought having two sharks splitting someone in half...and that's the money shot of the whole movie
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aCN-bX4qNPk[/youtube]

I love that movie! Here is a list of bad shark movies I enjoy:

Sharknado
Sharknado 2: the second one
Sharknado 3: oh hell no
Sharknado 4
Ghost shark
Sand sharks
Snow shark: ancient snow beast
Avalanche sharks
Swamp shark
Mega shark vs giant octopus
Mega shark vs crocosaurus
Mega shark mecha shark
Mega shark vs kolossus
Sharktopus
Super Shark
Two headed shark attack
Three headed shark attack
Jersey shore shark attack
Dinoshark
Sharktopus vs pteracuda
Sharktopus vs dinoshark
Sharktopus vs whalewolf

Related:
Birdemic 1: shock and terror
Birdemic 2
Mega Piranha
Piranha 3DD
Big ass spider

[$harkToootth]

Holy fuck Brands! That is inspiring! Can we teach alternative film courses? You can teach 'Shark Movies' and I can teach 'Two Girls Form An Unlikely Friendship' movies.

[Blackened Soul]

No going to do a list of movies I like that fit in the thread.. I'll just list from the last week...
The Creature From Black Lake
The Devil Bat
What We Do In the Shadows
The Killer Shrews
The Bat

[fcknoise]

Holy fuck Brands! That is inspiring! Can we teach alternative film courses? You can teach 'Shark Movies' and I can teach 'Two Girls Form An Unlikely Friendship' movies.

Thanks dude! It's been my tinder bio last couple of weeks but I never get this sort of appreciation! This actually sounds like the job I've always wanted to have.

Lesson #1: the lamer the name, the probably better the movie. Exhibit A: Super Shark

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rx2cTYCP0Ns[/youtube]

The fact that the governments builds a walking tank just because the shark is also walking reveals so much about the capabilities of the human mind

[$harkToootth]

It's been my tinder bio last couple of weeks...

That is amazing! I've been wanting to put "masturbates overhand..." on my resume for years now. It's how I want to convey to employers I "think outside of the box while utilizing available resources".
SAMURAI COP - 1991, fits this thread. The whole filmography of Amir Shervan really (I sadly, have not seen his first film. The one that he made in Iran).
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fvni9KbZfoo[/youtube]
KILLING AMERICAN STYLE - 1990, is also pretty wonderful. Contains easily one of my favorite 'end quotes' in the history of cinema. Better than finding out the meaning of 'Rosebud'.
Both movies have Robert Z'Dar so enough said.

[echorec]

Has anyone seen Wild Zero in the past few years? It stars the band Guitar Wolf, and I think I watched it 10+ years ago, but I can't remember if it was cheesy fun or more of a semi-shitty cult classic.



A lot of the Japanese films I watched in the late 90s/early 00s aren't necessarily shitty in a b-movie/Troma type of way, but more of a hodge podge of influences and tastes. The films of that period, especially, seemed to be exceptionally creative, but also kind of schlocky in terms of overall execution.

Also, do we have any Seijun Suzuki fans ITT? In a way, he was a master chef working with really stale ingredients. His films purposefully employed weird editing, bizarre cuts, and eccentric elements which served to disorient the viewer. He worked in a rigid studio system with limited budgets and poor scripts, but he had a way of turning everything he was given on its head. He came back in the 2000s, after a long absence. Some of his films wound up in the Criterion collection, but I imagine if you just found his films in a junk bin, many people would think they were watching some fairly shitty films, due to the oddball nature of his stylistic choices. In a way, I think he was trying to sabotage and antagonize the studio, as much as he was trying to be an artist in a suffocating system.

[$harkToootth]

A lot of the Japanese films I watched in the late 90s/early 00s aren't necessarily shitty in a b-movie/Troma type of way, but more of a hodge podge of influences and tastes. The films of that period, especially, seemed to be exceptionally creative, but also kind of schlocky in terms of overall execution.

Also, do we have any Seijun Suzuki fans ITT?

Agreed 100% on the first point. South Eastern Asian Cinema too is a beast of its own. I confess to not 'fully grasping what is happening' in some of these movies...but they have a really cool 'may as well keep it on' late night feel. These films don't lend themselves well to the streaming we have now. I think the same thing about 50's Atomic Bomb Panic films. They were great when you were up at some crazy hour and couldn't sleep...but I don't typically go out of my way to watch them anymore.

My previous sentiments apply to Seijun Suzuki. I admire the zaniness more than anything. Those are the kind of films (without going into the realms of elitism) you really have to engage with...really 'willingly suspend' all disbelief and kind of go with it .

I should mention...every Seijun Suzuki film I have seen was watched between 02:30 AM - 05:00 AM maybe later (earlier ) but always after an all-nighter.

[echorec]

I read an article years ago about how Japanese music is shaped by conservative elements of the culture, and I think it likely applies to their films as well. To crudely summarize, the article was basically stating that although the Japanese love KISS, they will never produce a KISS of their own. (not that KISS is the heaviest or most controversial group, but that was the band the article referenced) They enjoy a certain degree of darkness as a form of spectacle, but they don't actually identify with it on a deeper, psychological level. They have to sort of Disney things up, in order to pardon a fleeting indulgence in the darker elements of Western music and art. ---The violence/darkness of a performance or piece isn't the source of catharsis. That element is almost purely ornamental. It may sound contradictory to a culture with graphic anime films and weird attitudes about sexualized adolescents, but I suppose it's really no weirder than US culture, where we are OK with violence, but thanks to all these antiquated Puritan sentiments, we are supposed to be offended by language and human reproduction.

But back to the Japanese (and this is of course no sort of criticism or scholarly critique), they have a way of dipping their toe into the water of taboos, but they hesitate to fully commit. In much of what I've seen, there's a form of self-censorship happening. They'll make an apocalyptic, dystopian film for example...but it has to be a fun buddy comedy. There's a need there to almost apologize for the plot elements, by sprinkling in elements of absurdism, as a kind of compromise with the viewers.

I'm not an expert on their scenes, but I would speculate that most creators willing to embrace a darker or more serious take on Western genre films, would also likely be people who aren't necessarily embraced by the cultural mainstream. I remember Miike having some pretty savage films, but it's been too long to remember, if he also had a tendency to sprinkle absurd or surreal elements, as a counter balance to the violence.

[$harkToootth]

I don't disagree...but I also don't know . If you had not, I would have cited Miike. I don't see any 'funny' counter points in his films. You could also reference Nagisa Oshima, nothing fun or absurd about his films (I think I own everything Criterion put out of his).

Maybe that is how it was in the past? Regarding Seijun Suzuki, we're talking about a director who "peaked" decades ago (although I literally just learned he did some work with the LUPIN III franchise).

Oscillateur would be the best primary source as he was born in a Western country and is now living in Japan.

One more point regarding Japan. Apparently, from what I read in interviews with Terre Thaemlitz (DJ SPRINKLES), people ignoring you is their equivalent to aggressive behavior in the USA. If someone does not like you in the US...they will make a point to tell you (at least in Terre's and my experience ) where as Japan, you are just ignored...no one speaks to you. This is why Terre prefers it there. If people do not like Terre...nothing is said .

You should post the article though (if electronic), please. I would read it. Regardless, you comments are what I love about 'Shitty' movies. It may be easy to 'write them off' or 'dismiss' them...but whether you like it or not...their is always something more to it...

[echorec]

@$harkToootth, I've typed a reply longer than usual, so I 'folded' it up. Anyone who wants to view the next YouTube trailer, can just skip over it.

NSFW: show

I don't disagree...but I also don't know . If you had not, I would have cited Miike. I don't see any 'funny' counter points in his films. You could also reference Nagisa Oshima, nothing fun or absurd about his films (I think I own everything Criterion put out of his).

Maybe that is how it was in the past? Regarding Seijun Suzuki, we're talking about a director who "peaked" decades ago (although I literally just learned he did some work with the LUPIN III franchise).

Oscillateur would be the best primary source as he was born in a Western country and is now living in Japan.

If I watched any Oshima, it would've been around 10 years ago, so I can't really comment on his work. This doesn't sound that serious to me though?

A married French woman takes a zoo chimp named Max to be her lover.

---slug for Max mon amour (1986)

I've forgotten a lot of stuff. When I was watching a lot of international b-movies and grindhouse material, that was mostly pre-2007. In my heavy film days (post 2007), I watched a lot of 1960s French work. ---Godard, Jean-Pierre Melville, Chris Marker, Alain Resnais

One more point regarding Japan. Apparently, from what I read in interviews with Terre Thaemlitz (DJ SPRINKLES), people ignoring you is their equivalent to aggressive behavior in the USA. If someone does not like you in the US...they will make a point to tell you (at least in Terre's and my experience ) where as Japan, you are just ignored...no one speaks to you. This is why Terre prefers it there. If people do not like Terre...nothing is said .

I think I've heard of this, where someone tries to engage someone, they turn their back and just walk off. I'm not sure if this applies to strangers and/or acquaintances. ---From my experience, few people will tell you they dislike you. Your texts, e-mails, and greetings at parties will lead to no response, or a cold/guarded in-person exchange. Or even better someone will distance themselves or go through the motions for years, only to blow up on you at a party 5 years into your casual friendship. I think people are fucking awful, though, so my perspectives on social etiquette and people's inner workings are generally dismissed, because I seem to be running parallel to the typical human experience. This tends to discredit me. I'll say, "No, no, Person X is awful and here's why." No one will validate these findings, though, because no one else has been introduced to the version of Person X that I have borne witness to.

---I know little of Japanese customs except for a few odd bits. I know that if you're late to an after-hours business meeting and everyone else is already tipsy, then you're expected to feign drunkenness, in order to participate. Drunkenness lends itself to vulnerability, and it is important to make yourself emotionally available in this sense. (there are some YouTube videos discussing/simulating this)

A friend of mine had a Japanese roommate, who said you can't directly complement someone's cooking. You have to use this reverse system of compliments. Ex: Mrs. Smith, I wish my mother cooked like this. She is such a terrible cook. Her food is really the worst.

---You end up insulting your own self or those close to you through comparative marginalization, rather than directly telling someone their efforts have proved excellent.

You should post the article though (if electronic), please. I would read it. Regardless, you comments are what I love about 'Shitty' movies. It may be easy to 'write them off' or 'dismiss' them...but whether you like it or not...their is always something more to it...

I saw Keigo Oyamada and his band of soldier/boy scouts performing as Cornelius on HBO's Reverb around 1999. My desire to understand where he was coming from likely led to reading said article. So that could've been published anywhere between 1999 and say 2010. I doubt I could find it again without some serious brainstorming. If I see something like it again, though, I'll pass it along.

[Eivind August]

^ Lovely conversation. Suzuki made some interesting movies back in the day, and Miike is/was a talented dude in his own way.

[Chankgeez]

Wild Zero is NOT a "shitty movie".

[$harkToootth]

@echorec, thanks for the thought out reply (as always). You have given me things to explore.

If I watched any Oshima, it would've been around 10 years ago, so I can't really comment on his work. This doesn't sound that serious to me though?

I've forgotten a lot of stuff. When I was watching a lot of international b-movies and grindhouse material, that was mostly pre-2007. In my heavy film days (post 2007), I watched a lot of 1960s French work. ---Godard, Jean-Pierre Melville, Chris Marker, Alain Resnais

Oshima is 100% worth your time. I would say none of his movies are 'shitty' rather, 'heavy'. Easily one of my favorite directors. IN THE REALM OF THE SENSES and MERRY CHRISTMAS, MR. LAWRENCE are the more popular (and for good reason) of an excellent filmography.

I love all those directors you mentioned. For Melville, I prefer LE CERCLE ROUGE over LE SAMOURAI. For Goddard, my all time favorite is MASCULIN, FEMININ. Regarding Marker, SANS SOLEIL [SUNLESS] is literally my favorite film of all time (most people don't think I can pick a favorite and I say, "oh no, I can, it's SUNLESS" ).

Keeping the thread on track with garbage...I watched this on Friday. It was terrible. I love Seymour Cassell though. Eli Roth recently remade this movie as KNOCK KNOCK.

[rustywire]

As a kid I was mesmerized by the 80s horror movie cover/poster art, and used to regularly spend time admiring displays at the local Grand Union supermarket, which used to rent video tapes and Nintendo games.
As an adolescent I had cable tv in my bedroom & used to watch USA Up All Night with Gilbert Gottfried or Rhonda Shear. Fond memories watching films like The Toxic Avenger while chatting with pals on Prodigy/AOL when I should have been in bed
As a young adult, in the early 00s I worked in the video store that had been a previous hangout spot; back when they still existed in everytown USA. Watched so much crap there, stuff so bad it's good, some that should be destroyed, and others that are so fun I have no idea how anyone can hate on them. Dystopian future/post-apoc/weird outerspace/sci-fi style movies are probably my favorite style of "shitty movies"
Yes to Judge Dredd...but Demolition Man and Timecop are much better examples.

After watching so many movies is it hard to watch movies now? I mean, there are only so many plotlines and most movies follow certain formulas. Do you find yourself, early mid or mid movie saying "I know where this goes ..." and end up bailing?

Yes, it can be [difficult] because there is a lot of laziness. Having worked in numerous retail jobs dealing with customers face2face, I'm able to suspend disbelief in knowing the boundlessness of human stupidity, foolishness, entitlement and arrogance. Still, it's hardest to watch a movie whose premise can only work with every core character making the worst possible decision at every turn, as if they are incapable of learning and problem solving at even the most basic level. More often than not I can usually sniff out where a movie is going, far ahead of the big reveal and that's what makes quality twists so good. Even on the rewatch. There are some movies one cant help getting sucked in anytime you happen upon them, mid-film. The Negotiator is one such example. Castaway is another...though not as far as twists go. Lucky Number Slevin caught me off guard and for that I rank it higher than most people, prob.

I dont necessarily hate formula; I'm still a fan of the 80s-90s Steven Seagal & Van Damme flix. Also spaghetti westerns.

[$harkToootth]

I dont necessarily hate formula; I'm still a fan of the 80s-90s Steven Seagal & Van Damme flix. Also spaghetti westerns.

I find knowing "formulas" contributes to my enjoyment of genre movies. You start guessing what leaps and bounds the filmmaker is going to make so that they can keep the film 'on course'.
Also, because of genre tropes you get a lot of inadvertent hilarity as other facets of the plot are overlooked.
Even if you know where plots are going, there is no way you can predict questionable choices in the formal elements of the film (bad camera angles, jarring cuts, poor color correction etc.). My favorite is inadvertent dialogue / one liners. Using Spaghetti Western as an example...some things that characters say to each other could easily be used in gay porn. Lee Van Clef talking about men 'receiving him in the rear' etc.
Regarding Steven Seagal...why AFI never includes this scene in their 'lists' is beyond me...this scene transcends itself and becomes cinematic poetry...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Zu1YIukylw[/youtube]
"WHOSE HOT DOG IS THIS? IS THAT YOURS?"