ilovefuzz.com

welp. last shot at the one little bit of happiness i had misfired. fuck it all.

Fuck. Tequila.

same but malt liquor.

I am so angry and sad and frustrated today. The national news has been brutal. My personal health isn't where I would like it to be. And maybe most stressful of all is the fact that we are broke because we always are before a big release, especially in the summer months when it is slow to begin with.

And I can't drink at the moment because even one drink makes me feel like I have a massive hangover.

aens_wife wrote:I am so angry and sad and frustrated today. The national news has been brutal. My personal health isn't where I would like it to be. And maybe most stressful of all is the fact that we are broke because we always are before a big release, especially in the summer months when it is slow to begin with.

And I can't drink at the moment because even one drink makes me feel like I have a massive hangover.

It feels like a summer malaise has hit everyone. The only thing that gets me through the news cycle is the Knowledge Fight podcast reminding me that there are sane people who reject this wretchedness. Being broke and sick is terrible for morale. I'm also on the can't drink train, because of an ongoing battle with gout. We can do this. Fuzz in all things.

I had one of my last 2 Reverb orders sent back to me via USPS because it was allegedly undeliverable as addressed. This has never happened before. I printed an F-ing shipping label purchased from Reverb, so the address should have been correct. Additionally, the assessment of its weight was accurate.

Part of me wonders if the buyer opted not to sign for the package or if other shennanigans are afoot. I guess I'll know more when the package returns. This is one of many reasons I don't typically do business with Reverb buyers who have fewer than 5 positive transactions.

[Edit:] The buyer just messaged me, indicated there was an address error, and independently took accountability for working toward a mutual solution. Apparently, there are still decent people in the world, and some of them have fewer than 5 positive Reverb transactions.

Motherfuckingfireworks!

aens_wife wrote:I am so angry and sad and frustrated today. The national news has been brutal. My personal health isn't where I would like it to be. And maybe most stressful of all is the fact that we are broke because we always are before a big release, especially in the summer months when it is slow to begin with.

And I can't drink at the moment because even one drink makes me feel like I have a massive hangover.

If it helps, it's okay to take a break from watching the news and staying updated. I deleted my social media apps and stopped checking news sites for a week and felt a lot better afterwards. If you're afraid you'll be turning a blind eye, just remember that you need to keep your mental health safe before you can help others.

friendship wrote:
If it helps, it's okay to take a break from watching the news and staying updated. I deleted my social media apps and stopped checking news sites for a week and felt a lot better afterwards. If you're afraid you'll be turning a blind eye, just remember that you need to keep your mental health safe before you can help others.

I did this earlier in the year and it definitely helped. It is almost like an addiction for me now. I need to step away for a bit and do something that helps me grow, but it is hard to break bad habits.

It just feels like everything has hit me at one time and I just don't have the strength to get through it. I mean, I know it do, but I don't want to have to...

i live in Charlottesville, and the events of the past weekend have me totally freaked out. i can't stop looking at the news on the computer, worrying about what disaster will be coming next. when i look outside, all i see is blood and Nazis.

I finally have more than a single day off for the first time in about six weeks, and have absolutely no idea what to do with my time. I don't want to do anything, but have that pestering internal pressure to do something productive. Whine, whine.

about to spend almost another grand on sound proofing materials for my jam room. here's to hoping it fucking does the trick.

I would offer an alternative suggestion to the news/societal anxiety thing. I have a huge problem with this, so does my wife and we talk about it a lot. In all sorts of ups and down over the past 18 years or so I've gone from really fired up about stuff, to burnt out and dead inside and all over, everywhere in between. Just recently I kind of made myself shake out of it and try to start doing something constructive to participate and contribute to the things that rile me up. I know that everyone has limits on their time, available energy (mental, physical and emotional) and their comfort zones, but I would suggest pushing yourself outside your comfort zone and try doing something you've never done before. Go to a charity event, contribute to a cause (that's a hard one, I know), go to a march or a vigil, volunteer for something. Make a little sacrifice of something you feel you can't really spare, because you'll find a way to make it work and you'll feel like you did something and not just like you're being smothered by the shit of the world.

It's just a suggestion based on me being REALLY hard on myself lately and after I pushed through it, I still felt depressed and anxious, but not EMPTY at least. Take it for whatever it's worth, just my thoughts.