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fucking fireworks! enough already!

Seriously, I really feel sorry for the owl the lives in the tree in my yard, it's been complaining for hours.. fuckinginbreadredneckassholes...

They've gone on for eight days straight here in my hood. Wakes the kids every night.

PLZ STOP

yesterday I found out my aunt has leukemia and my partner's aunt just got had some crazy surgery to remove all kinds of stuff from her cause they found cancer in her fallopian tube. starts chemo next week. dark times ahead.

couldn't help but have a beer for breakfast. feeling really bleak

resincum wrote:yesterday I found out my aunt has leukemia and my partner's aunt just got had some crazy surgery to remove all kinds of stuff from her cause they found cancer in her fallopian tube. starts chemo next week. dark times ahead.

couldn't help but have a beer for breakfast. feeling really bleak

I'm so sorry man.

My dad is en-route to MD Anderson to get a check up because he's been having issues again. I'm hoping it's nothing. Fucking cancer is bullshit dude. Such a hard thing to deal with emotionally and physically.

There is hope for leukemia though much more than there used to be. My grandfather died from it but now the survival rate (20+ years later) is so much higher. So keep strong man. I know it's hard.

Fallopian tube can be not bad at all when caught early. My sister actually had some cancer cells in that region years ago and recently again and had a hysterectomy because of ongoing complications. Now she is ok but will need hormone treatments.

So there's always hope man! Just keep it in your heart as much as you can!! I know how hard it is. I've lost a lot of loved ones to cancer. It's a fucked up thing to go through. You just gotta keep strong for them and hope for the best.

If you need someone to talk to, let me know.

jwar wrote:

resincum wrote:yesterday I found out my aunt has leukemia and my partner's aunt just got had some crazy surgery to remove all kinds of stuff from her cause they found cancer in her fallopian tube. starts chemo next week. dark times ahead.

couldn't help but have a beer for breakfast. feeling really bleak

I'm so sorry man.

My dad is en-route to MD Anderson to get a check up because he's been having issues again. I'm hoping it's nothing. Fucking cancer is bullshit dude. Such a hard thing to deal with emotionally and physically.

There is hope for leukemia though much more than there used to be. My grandfather died from it but now the survival rate (20+ years later) is so much higher. So keep strong man. I know it's hard.

Fallopian tube can be not bad at all when caught early. My sister actually had some cancer cells in that region years ago and recently again and had a hysterectomy because of ongoing complications. Now she is ok but will need hormone treatments.

So there's always hope man! Just keep it in your heart as much as you can!! I know how hard it is. I've lost a lot of loved ones to cancer. It's a fucked up thing to go through. You just gotta keep strong for them and hope for the best.

If you need someone to talk to, let me know.

I'm wishing both of your families all the best for full recoveries. Tell your loved ones to fight it as hard as they can.

Life has been hard lately.

Ive been struggling with the concept of my own mortality. The large possibility that there is nothing beyond the life we have now. No matter how much I try and believe in an afterlife, a god, whatever, logic forces me back into the probability that theres nothing waiting for us.

This coupled with my anxiety and depression has made me miserable for months now. And I know this hurts my loved ones, my fiancee, my son, my bandmates, it makes me feel like a cancer on everyones lives.

I miss the times when I lived with my mom and dad. Before I started smoking weed to medicate myself. Before I spent sleepless nights crying and panicing. I bounce between wanting my mom and wanting to be alone.

At this point, the only thing keeping me from ending it is the fear of the end thats kickstarted this black cloud over my exsistence.

The worst part is today is my sons 6th birthday. I should be happy but im not. Im sad, crying in my bed over all these emotions that are slowly killing me. And this happens every year, what should be a happy day is just another reminder that my son will have to bury me one day and that my time is short here, too short to do ANYTHING worth living for.

It's not too short, though. Purpose doesn't have to be tied to anything supernatural. What do you want to do?

(I feel you, though. This birthday kinda just had me thinking about the future and not the past.)

Something in music. Performing ideally. Ive dumped ten years into playing guitar but I've never played a gig as the guitarist. So id like to do that.

It's very easy to get bleak—I know that from plenty of my own grappling. I've spent so much time thinking about what's going to happen in the future, pretty much my entire life. With that in mind, I've been trying to be more present, to just enjoy what's happening now and actually experience it, vs constantly having one eye on the next moment. I don't have an answer/solution for you, but I would think that maybe you could benefit from a similar attempt at a change of outlook. I hope ya feel better, man. It's gonna be ok

And playing a gig as a guitarist is a super achievable goal. So there's that! Get on that shit!

well i can go back to playing bass for ya nick. coz my doom band is no more.

You should be more outraged that someone tried to sell you the idea of devoting your short existence to (at best) an absent and indifferent god.
Fuck that guy.
Form your own code and live by it. Judge yourself by your own standards and know that every day you held your line was a day lived in service of an ideal thats actually useful and beneficial to yourself and those around you.
You have love in your life, you need very little more. Everything beyond that is an accomplishment.



You can buy book "How to Atheist Dad Like a Fucking Champ" from my big cartel.

Iommic Pope wrote:You should be more outraged that someone tried to sell you the idea of devoting your short existence to (at best) an absent and indifferent god.
Fuck that guy.
Form your own code and live by it. Judge yourself by your own standards and know that every day you held your line was a day lived in service of an ideal thats actually useful and beneficial to yourself and those around you.
You have love in your life, you need very little more. Everything beyond that is an accomplishment.



You can buy book "How to Atheist Dad Like a Fucking Champ" from my big cartel.

So much truth in this. The love you have in your life with your kids is the most important thing in the world. Right now, you and your partner are the most important people in the world for those kids, there is much more purpose in that than anything else in life...embrace it and enjoy that.

The music thing is great, by I meant an approach or philosophy. Basically what Pope said. My own thing isn't super useful to anyone else, but men and women need a code. Otherwise, every decision and action is a coin-flip, and it leaves you feeling untethered.

Idealism will make you crazy, but all the motherfuckers out there who have none are--in my view--not really people anymore. Hard to be animated when you have no animating principle.