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fuck. and i thought my band drama was a lot to deal with last night.

all i can do is send you good thoughts jwar

Thanks guys. Saw my in laws today. Hugged my brother in law hard and told him I loved him. He teared up and so did I. It was a hard ass day of lots of talking and confusion. He's known for three weeks apparently and didn't want to stress anyone out. So he's been holding all that in by himself. Poor fucking guy.

I wish there was something I could do but this situation is hopeless at this point. It's so fucking sad.

There is not much you can mend after something like that ...

drolo wrote:There is not much you can mend after something like that ...

I know.

I had to try and prevent my wife from taking all his pictures down in my house, which she's still going to do it.

A part of me wants to write him a letter and plead to his rational side and not be angry or hateful, but just say what needs to be said with love and compassion. Even if he doesn't deserve it. The other part of me wants to curl up and cry. I love the man. He's like a father to me and he's betrayed us all by doing this.

Last night was fucking rough. I had to convince his son to not kill him, which I'm not sure I did honestly. He's was telling me redemption before salvation and I know what he means by that. Reclaiming what is his or clearing a dept owed and then having salvation through that act. I'm really worried he'll lose his mind. All I can do is tell him I love him and tell him it won't help.

So here's hoping things eventually work out. Though, I cannot see how.

I am in favor of boundaries. Healthy, strict boundaries.

Cut ties with him, at least for now, and try to get your brother in law to see a counsellor. He needs a safe place to vent and he can't do that to his family, because they are all involved. Therapy would allow for some good venting and should teach him some coping skills.

Actually, maybe all of you need that. That kind of betrayal is enormous and it is better to just deal with it than to bury it and continue your relationship with him.

Happy Birthday, such as it is. Hopefully you can find some joy and peace with your own family today.

Thanks Louise. That's solid advice.

My birthday is not going well.

My mother in law had a stroke this morning, so we are waiting to see what's going to happen.

When it rains, it pours has the deepest meaning ever right now. Fuck.

Louise has solid advice.

Deeply sorry to hear about all the stressful events you've been facing lately.

C'm here

I am so so sorry to hear about your MIL, jwar. What a pile of shit!

It sounds trite, but this too shall pass. Hug your family today. Watch your kids play, if possible. Eat something you enjoy. Trying to hold onto the little things is what gets me through sometimes.

Holy fuck, jwar.

Iommic Pope wrote:Holy fuck, jwar.

yeah. i'm at a loss. hang in there buddy.

Mood: Apathetic


and J:

Yo J sorry to hear it. I have some similarly fucked-up stuff happening, but with my own mom and dad. Death threats, threats to harm/kidnap my kids, showing up uninvited/unannounced, you get the idea. My mom has some pretty serious problems, and I don't speak with her because of her craziness. It doesn't help much, but all you can do is limit the damage with people who are time bombs. Get away, get your family away.

Also, my father-in-law had a stroke Monday. Twinsies! He recovered pretty well so far, but the docs say it's just a side effect from his brain cancer treatment--he's so far beyond where they thought he'd be able to survive that no one really knows what the side effects are at this point. Wheeeeeee

Anyway vent that shit out, dude. It's crazymaking either way, but maybe naming your demons gives you a little more power over them.

IM and J ...
that's some really heavy stuff you are going through
I hope you can find somethings, someones to hold on to that will help you go through these crises
hang in there and indeed vent if it helps

maaan