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Iommic Pope wrote:Yeah the thing is, if you tell me something i dont want to hear about myself, I might be devo for a while, even spitting venom, but I'll probably calm the fuck down, reflect on it and try to change that at some point.
Apparently that does not apply to women.
Sorry ladies.
#popeisamisogynistbutweallknewthatanyway

#notallwomen

But for real, I know a lot of women who don't want to hear negative things about themselves, but I also know a lot of dudes who do the same thing. I think that in our culture, people are taught that they are perfect no matter what and they should be accepted. But that is bullshit. Sometimes we do mean things and should be called out. Sometimes we should drink less or quit smoking or lose some weight. Sometimes we should reflect a little bit and realize that we can all get better.

I'd sit down and have a talk with your wife about honesty and how passive aggressive behavior can harm a relationship. If she had come to you and said something like "I know I was saying I needed to lose weight too, but it hurt my feelings to hear you say it. I am worried you aren't attracted to me anymore," you could have actually talked about it and made her feel better. But that isn't what happened and now you are less likely to say what you feel/need. Fuck that.

I'm not enough.

aens_wife wrote:

Iommic Pope wrote:Yeah the thing is, if you tell me something i dont want to hear about myself, I might be devo for a while, even spitting venom, but I'll probably calm the fuck down, reflect on it and try to change that at some point.
Apparently that does not apply to women.
Sorry ladies.
#popeisamisogynistbutweallknewthatanyway

#notallwomen

But for real, I know a lot of women who don't want to hear negative things about themselves, but I also know a lot of dudes who do the same thing. I think that in our culture, people are taught that they are perfect no matter what and they should be accepted. But that is bullshit. Sometimes we do mean things and should be called out. Sometimes we should drink less or quit smoking or lose some weight. Sometimes we should reflect a little bit and realize that we can all get better.

I'd sit down and have a talk with your wife about honesty and how passive aggressive behavior can harm a relationship. If she had come to you and said something like "I know I was saying I needed to lose weight too, but it hurt my feelings to hear you say it. I am worried you aren't attracted to me anymore," you could have actually talked about it and made her feel better. But that isn't what happened and now you are less likely to say what you feel/need. Fuck that.

Spot on.
Thanks for that, Louise. It's so true that how we talk to one another/body language has impact on our relationships."

Louise, you rule.
Yeah thats basically the situation in a nutshell.
And yeah, its not a gender thing, its a human thing.
I think when its just you and your partner you forget that.
Its just getting that conversation starred in a manner where I'm not accused of attacking her or being a badtard, but whatever.
Thanks for the perspective.

Everything sucks and I have no gear:(

odontophobia wrote:

aens_wife wrote:

Iommic Pope wrote:Yeah the thing is, if you tell me something i dont want to hear about myself, I might be devo for a while, even spitting venom, but I'll probably calm the fuck down, reflect on it and try to change that at some point.
Apparently that does not apply to women.
Sorry ladies.
#popeisamisogynistbutweallknewthatanyway

#notallwomen

But for real, I know a lot of women who don't want to hear negative things about themselves, but I also know a lot of dudes who do the same thing. I think that in our culture, people are taught that they are perfect no matter what and they should be accepted. But that is bullshit. Sometimes we do mean things and should be called out. Sometimes we should drink less or quit smoking or lose some weight. Sometimes we should reflect a little bit and realize that we can all get better.

I'd sit down and have a talk with your wife about honesty and how passive aggressive behavior can harm a relationship. If she had come to you and said something like "I know I was saying I needed to lose weight too, but it hurt my feelings to hear you say it. I am worried you aren't attracted to me anymore," you could have actually talked about it and made her feel better. But that isn't what happened and now you are less likely to say what you feel/need. Fuck that.

Spot on.
Thanks for that, Louise. It's so true that how we talk to one another/body language has impact on our relationships."

This is so spot on. These kinds of problems were really prevalent in my last relationship, and ultimately killed it. Being stronger/better about confronting issues has always been something I've known I need to work on, and I know I'm going to be a lot better about it in the future.

PS DoS what's up? Are you now overseas?

popvulture wrote:PS DoS what's up? Are you now overseas?

Hey DoS...I got some heavy psych to cheer you up...
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cv2uRVH7_Jw[/youtube]

D.o.S. wrote:Everything sucks and I have no gear:(

yeah, but you got your girl...and you have camden...

Yeah I mean to be honest very little sucks for me right now. thanks for the reality check.

Therapist thinks I might have to do ECT for my treatment resistant depression. Cool. Cool.

my goddamn ear keeps shutting down and ringin....fuckin toe nail is halfway off and i dont feel like bleeding everywhere right now....gonna pop my last three amoxicillin i didnt finnish ..expiration dates today....teeth all fucked up breakin off dont need another infection....god damn its hot today.. they said it was supposed to rain!
fuck now im bleedin all over...whole nail came off..ugh!

Queasy and tired.

All I want is to waste money on comfort food.

Oh yeah, and I'm chronically depressed and have been unemployed for this entire year.

But it's Friday night, so I'm focused on base issues right now.

yep, having no income is a giant downer...tryin to find an at home job with a computer or il work at some shit diner/bar again, hopefully somthin good comes my way financially. worked at stewart title once making copys and odd office work that was cool....worst place i worked was a cleaners.... been without job so long a resume is gonna look pathetic.

just got done watching the devil and daniel johnston and made me even worse in the head thinking of the old cassette project and the little bit of notoriety that came with pushing them on radio stations and random folk....wanna re vamp the project soon...i think, spent more money and time trying to make the sounds heard... cd-r and what not, handouts.. than getting anything but a self gratification and the occasional "hey a friend gave me this cd-r and its cool man"