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I wish for once that I could go to bed and not become an existentialist with borderline nihilistic traits. I'm fine during the day, but I can't fucking put my head on a pillow without thinking about the future death of my girlfriend, dogs and myself. It's all I've been dreaming about for the last week as well. Why am I not standing on top of a motorcycle on the highway and chopping zombies' heads off? It's really depressing to keep thinking about inevitable tragedy and I've been sleepy for far too long now.

Spent the last hour having a customer condescend to me like never before.
The amount of times that guy said "you might not understand since you're so young".

UglyCasanova wrote:I wish for once that I could go to bed and not become an existentialist with borderline nihilistic traits. I'm fine during the day, but I can't fucking put my head on a pillow without thinking about the future death of my girlfriend, dogs and myself. It's all I've been dreaming about for the last week as well. Why am I not standing on top of a motorcycle on the highway and chopping zombies' heads off? It's really depressing to keep thinking about inevitable tragedy and I've been sleepy for far too long now.

I have this same problem. I used to just obsess over whether my ex or myself would die first. Pretty unpleasant stuff.

In this week's installment of "How to Ruin Everything: An Autobiography" I have just about had it with online dating, or dating in general.

I met someone shortly after my separation that I felt very friendly feelings towards but nothing else. Except we ended up spending a lot of time together over the last couple months and some other feelings sort of happened with both of us. And then she left on a 6 month hike across the US. No idea what's going to happen when she gets back. Real shit timing in some ways but probably good timing in others.

On one hand it sucks to have a "relationship" end before it even really begins, leaving me dealing with the loss of my marriage, but also my best friend in town, and also the girl I'm crushing on (same person). On the other hand, jumping back into something so soon after my separation is probably not the best idea. Hell, it's probably still going to be a shit idea in 6 months when she gets back, but that's future Neon's problem.

Tinder is still a wasteland. One girl used me for dinner and weed. One girl was just insufferably boring and wouldn't stop talking. One girl seems to delight in falling somewhere between dismissive and just plain mean. And tonight, a girl wanted to meet up RIGHT NOW and when I told her I was doing dad stuff but we could meet up later, she said she wasn't interested and blocked me.

WHAT THE FUCK, DATING

So yeah. Starting to feel like I don't need to even think about dating right now and just turn the crippling loneliness into something productive. Need to finish my guitar and buy a head so I can start playing again. It's fucking killing me not to be able to fuzz it up.

Edit: holy shit, so many words! Fuck it, leaving it.

Nah man I know it might be rough but you should start a 'neon chronicles' thread and post at great length about your reentry into single life. You'd have one reader. The Tinder thing is utterly baffling to me, but a bunch of misadventures of a fuzzdad sounds like primo reading. Might also defuse the crazymaking part on your end.

Hmmm. It's definitely a thought.

I honestly don't know what my endgame is right now with dating. I've never been a huge fan of "hooking up" or casual things with strangers. I told someone the other day that my dick is on hiatus That's about the most accurate way I can put it.

Why not just ride it solo for a hot minute to get your thoughts together?

Yeah, I go back and forth about that. Obviously that's the best idea, but I've been crazy lonely and I live in a new town where I don't know anyone. Honestly, this is just the easiest way to hang out with someone. I'm weird at bars.

I'm supposed to hang out with T-Rey at some point, and I've gotten in touch with a few musicians in the area so hopefully soon I'll have some actual friends

neonblack wrote:my dick is on hiatus

Strange Tales wrote:ride it solo for a hot minute

(But seriously: I think 'My Dick is on Hiatus' is a great thread title.)

been sick for almost a week now. this blows

Iommic Pope wrote:

NSFW: show

Seriously though, it could be helpful.

Invisible Man wrote:

Iommic Pope wrote:

NSFW: show

Seriously though, it could be helpful.

Yeah we have primary school programs designed to specifically scare kids out of that.
You dont want to fall into the sun, mate.

Invisible Man wrote:

neonblack wrote:my dick is on hiatus

Strange Tales wrote:ride it solo for a hot minute

(But seriously: I think 'My Dick is on Hiatus' is a great thread title.)

I literally said what Neon Black said to my doctor at my last check up over three years ago. I prefaced it with "sexually de-activated".

Not a popular opinion but, I don't want it (my sex drive) back.