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Sorry to hear that Neih.

Today was the first day in 5 years I woke up alone. This house is so fucking quiet all I can hear is my tinnitus.

neonblack wrote:Sorry to hear that Neih.

Today was the first day in 5 years I woke up alone. This house is so fucking quiet all I can hear is my tinnitus.

fuzz brows are here for you, dawg.

nieh wrote:My good friend overdosed last night, and they don't think he's going to make it. He just got out of jail a month ago for drugs, and now I'm regretting not seeing him. I didn't want to be involved with him, but now I feel like I somehow could've prevented it.

Don't beat yourself up over it, these things in the end are only one person's fault. I'm really sorry this has happened to people close to you.

EDIT: removed drunken depressed rant part of the post...

tried to make a white wine spritzer and the club soda had fucking Sweet N Low in it. LE barf X(

On the topic of wine, I just spilled wine on the carpet. Fortunately it's shitty wine and a shitty carpet.

Great news you guys! She finally feels like she can breathe without me! She can just focus on herself now! She has no worries in the world and its all because she left me. What wonderful, great, awesome news.

I just need to stay here and get better. Yeah. Here. Alone.

I fucking hate everything. The sun is about to come up and I'm manic and sad and hopeless and I dont know what to do.

It's all still new, so her feeling "like she can breathe" is a good thing. Being wrapped up in a situation can force bad to worse -- the pressure released will make communication and healing easier.

Hang in there, Buddy. You breathe too.

^ this.

People who always start talking at you when you're listening to someone on the phone: what is wrong with them? Do they think because they personally don't hear anyone that no one must be talking? Do they think that when they close their eyes no one can see them?

UPS man: what the fuck? Where the fuck are you?

It's 6:18 in the evening, the sun is gone now. My whole fucking day has vanished before my eyes, and you're still not fucking here with my new synth. What the fuck is taking so long?

Seriously, my package has been "out for delivery" since 4:14 A.M. How the fuck can you still not be done with your route SIXTEEN hours later? How many fucking times have you had to refuel your truck in the past 16 hours of driving. Why is it when I'm home alone with nowhere to be, that my deliveries are ALWAYS late. Yet in some spectacular fashion, when I'm trying to sleep my packages get delivered [noisily and clumsily] at 8:05 A.M.

Why is it that when I have to pick up my nephew at 3:30, my packages are delivered at 3:05, ensuring that there's no fucking way I'll get to play my new gear until the next day at the very earliest. FUCK! Why?!? Every fucking time this happens. I've had 6 addresses, including one business, and I've always managed to be on the shittiest part of the delivery route----everything is always too late, too early, when I'm working, when I'm going out the door. Nothing ever comes early on weekends or vacation days.

Insomnia creeping on me again for the second night in a row. I feel anxious but I don't know why. There's no reason to be at the moment. But it's there. And since I can't figure out the cause, I can't resolve it. Maybe it's just a pile up of mild unpleasant small things over the course of a couple of weeks.

Got any travel plans slated?

Another job rejection email.

le sigh. Been keeping my head up, but it's really getting to me. Just don't have a god damn clue what I'm doing with my life.

As some of you know I quit my job a month back or so, because of my bosses treating me and some of my colleagues like absolute shit, although I politely told them not to a number of times. However, been to two job interviews since, the second one today. I got offered the first job, but didn't take it due the dude who'd become my new boss acting reaaaally strange about something in a way that he really shouldn't have. Did another interview at another place today and just felt "meh" about the job so probably won't take that one either, if it ends up being offered to me. I'm stable financially and could be for a few more months, so in no rush to get new job really, but just feeling fed up with really wanting to work (I love what I do, I just don't like being treated like crap) but only getting to see boring places for that. Have applied for 3 others at the moment so hopefully one of those will feel better. Also, I know this is a luxury problem, as is all of us being able to throw all this money on gear, but still. Let me see something inspiring where the boss doesn't try to shit on people and I'll work my ass off. End of rant.

edit: Just seen snipelfritz post above and feel really bad about my own now. Shit. I'm an idiot.