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Iommic Pope wrote:What a way to end my week long anxiety attack: depression and hopelessness.
Should probably not take a bath with the toaster, but I feel like I'm gonna be feeling this way until the sun blows up.

I'm way more IcebKing than Skmon these days.

Samesies, although the polarity is reversed: case of the Big Sad Feelies followed by Anxiety Assault. Real cool that I'm taking two meds that do nothing to stop this cycle. Reeeeeal cool.

Keep your toaster in the kitchen.

I would always just suggest that if you are taking anti-depressants and they aren't helping, it might be worth figuring out if there is something like Bipolar or BPD going on, because those can be misdiagnosed as depression, and anti-depressants are notoriously terrible for people living with those realities.

I'm pretty sure I'm in the BPD boat, too lazy to get it looked at though after dealing with anti depressants. I'll just take the nearly suicidal mood swings.

Damn, dudes. If it's BPD, try to get that examined. That can be really destructive if you start to unravel. Watching it happen right now...pretty terrifying. There aren't any medications that I am aware of to help with it...DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy, maybe?) can help, though.

Doing Dialectical Behavioral Therapy, even on my own, has been incredibly helpful. When i was a bit younger (high school, college, early 20s) psychs threw a bunch of different diagnoses at me and i told the medical establishment to fuck the hell off. Now i'm tryna get it figured out again, because the suicidal depression and rapid cycling mood swings are just not cute anymore.

I mean at this point I'm my own therapist and everything else. It'd be cool if talking to people in the outside world wasn't such a massive problem for me, but I'm getting by alright now so yea I don't care.

psychic vampire. wrote:I would always just suggest that if you are taking anti-depressants and they aren't helping, it might be worth figuring out if there is something like Bipolar or BPD going on, because those can be misdiagnosed as depression, and anti-depressants are notoriously terrible for people living with those realities.

I've heard this too. I brought it up to a couple therapists I've had, but was told I have regular ol', garden-variety Major Depressive Disorder. Reading about and witnessing manic episodes, I don't think I've ever experienced that, so it makes sense to me. I'm way worse without the meds, so at least they're doing something even if it's just palliative, I guess.

So, Type 1 and Type 2 Bipolar are actually quite different, and then BPD is kinda like your emotional stability took a wrong left turn somewhere (for people i know, from my understanding of it). Both were diagnoses thrown at me when i was younger. BPD is terrifying, but i'll be humorous about it and say it's an overwhelmingly common diagnoses among queer and trans people i know. But there's a good chance that's not where you're at, because unchecked BPD leaves a lot of people pretty much non-functional, or in some other similarly extreme places.

Still, even Major Depressive Disorder doesn't mean all anti-depressants will work equally well for each person, obviously. I am a big fan of giving different things fair shakes, but finding the thing that actually pushes you towards positive growth. I am currently re-seeking psychiatry to figure out where i'm actually at, and not just what a mandated psych will write on a piece of paper before kicking me out the door and on my way.

But even if the BPD diagnosis ends up being wrong, i've found the lessons contained within DBT to be positive for me, and probably most people i know. To me it mostly feels like dumbed down lessons on how to be an empathetic and capable adult, which is really hard to learn, as it turns out.

I used to take SSRIs for my depression because I was having anxiety attacks everyday. They helped but overtime stop working and I always had bad side effects (changes in mood, awful insomnia, feeling on edge a lot). I eventually got off them and made a lot of changes in my diet and that really helped me, I haven't had anxiety in the crippling way that I used to in awhile.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3dqXHHCc5lA[/youtube]

hang in there friends

That moment when you have a perfect TWSS moment but you can't do it because it's totally not appropriate.

Hard life, friends. Hard life.

TWSS

hypothetical situation that may or may not have occurred during the same conversation.
Coworker who may or may not be unreasonably attractive: "I'm most known for my fish tacos."
Person who may or may not be me:

Yeah that's rough.
I don't think I could hold back there.

RE: Depressions- Everyone go and get a proper diagnosis and make sure your meds are adjusted periodically if you go down that road. Alternatively if you're doing counselling (which you should be if you are doing meds) then make sure it's going somewhere and you aren't just paying someone's mortgage for them. And do the homework they give you and upkeep with the strategies.

I took an awesome personality test least night that was surprisingly incredibly accurate and gave me something to think about before having a really long hot bath.
Made me realise I've just gotta let the snowballs roll down the mountain side. Instead of chasing them, stopping them of getting ploughed by them, I should probably just watch them from a distance.
I feel pretty drained today.
But thanks for the kind words everyone.
You guys go get some hugs.

Which personality test?