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that sucks dude.

I'm just not feeling today.
It's not awful or anything, but everything just feels so trivial.

And pointless.

I had a feeling my car would need some shit soon, but I was hoping it wouldn't be "you have about 50 miles until this becomes a serious risk" soon. Ugh. Plus life has just been a series of little bullshit for the last few months. I would like it to stop giving me bullshit and just give me one little positive fucking thing.

Bitching aside, I've been restoring a Silvertone Country Gentleman clone I've had for a few years, and it's going well. And a coworker and I are in talks about doing a duo thing. There is hope.

You have to come in for an interview to "verify your relationship".
Also, it's at 8:30 AM.
Oh, also, it's in Czech, so here's a list of approved translators.
Oh, also they charge more an hour than you make a day.

I emailed Randall asking what the impedance of my reverb tank was so I could upgrade it, and they responded "Sorry that information is not available."

I take care of/support a disabled friend, who receives a meager disability check of $700 a month to help with living expenses. His medicaid doesn't cover most of the medications, surgeries, or physical therapy he needs so I pay all of that out of pocket, treading water and living paycheck to paycheck while he suffers through life.

Last night he received word from SSI that he will no longer be receiving disability benefits...oh...and by the way...that means he wont be eligible for medicaid either. Today is a really crumby day.

Thanks for listening guys. Had to tell somebody before I explode.

The upside is that this will definitely stop me from feeding my pedal addiction. bankruptcy does that.

HighDeaf1080p wrote:I take care of/support a disabled friend, who receives a meager disability check of $700 a month to help with living expenses. His medicaid doesn't cover most of the medications, surgeries, or physical therapy he needs so I pay all of that out of pocket, treading water and living paycheck to paycheck while he suffers through life.

Last night he received word from SSI that he will no longer be receiving disability benefits...oh...and by the way...that means he wont be eligible for medicaid either. Today is a really crumby day.

Thanks for listening guys. Had to tell somebody before I explode.

The upside is that this will definitely stop me from feeding my pedal addiction. bankruptcy does that.

Dude, I'm so sorry about that.

My dad's in practically that same boat.
Acute bronchitis due to heart issues, no health insurance, and with medicare the cost for a proper inhaler is $300.
On top of that he just had a heart catheterization and two months later the hospital said, "oh, yeah, by the way, you gotta pay for that because medicare doesn't feel like it."
Also, VA decided to just quit paying the $500 check they owe him because they overpaid him 5 years ago and were too lazy to stop for a solid 3 years.
And they're taking money out of his social security check on top of that.

Man, fuck the government.

jrfox92, I hope he'll be ok.

I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do. I would never kick him out on the street...so now I will look at selling my car, and cashing out my retirement account to try to sustain his medical needs "for a while". When all that runs out, I guess the world ends.

Tomorrow I'll call some disability lawyers and see if anyone can help. If that works for us, I'll let you know.

fuck guys, why is everybody going through this right now? ever since my mom and dad divorced, she's been making claims against him to stifle his SSI and fuck with his medicaid. he's been going to urgent care instead of getting a regular doctor and only after he really hurts himself or gets really sick because he figures he cant afford continual care from a general practitioner.

That shit is ridiculous. I hope resolutions are found all around.

I had a fairly terrifying episode last night that was either the worst panic attack I've ever had, a weird sleep walking thing, night terror, or some sort of seizure. Woke up from a dream inexplicably and uncontrollably pacing around my bedroom, my heart was beating incredibly hard and loudly, my jaw was chattering uncontrollably, i felt like I could see the blood surging through the veins in my eyes with each pulse, having weird hallucinations, couldn't stop pacing, couldn't form any words or vocalize at all, my arms and head were moving uncrontrollably, took a few minutes until I realized where I was and who I was. This went on for what felt like an eternity, but was probably about 10 minutes until I could finally make myself sit down and slowly regain control of everything.

I've never experienced anything like it. Certainly not the way my panic attacks normally manifest. I get sleep paralysis occasionally, too, but that's never anything like this. Took about two hours to calm down and go back to sleep afterwards, so I've been in quite a daze today. My speech and motor skills have been sluggish.

I've had an episode like that before, have you been getting good sleep lately? been stressed? something really similar happened to me when I was getting off my antidepressants, couldn't sleep at all, pretty much had a dream while awake but I was acting completely impulsively, more like I was watching things happen then doing things deliberately.

slept in. got locked out of the bathroom. missed my chance to meet up ith my friends. there's no way in hell i'm fighting the flow of people in sf on my own now today just to smoke with a bazillion people in gg park.

ChetMagongalo wrote:I've had an episode like that before, have you been getting good sleep lately? been stressed? something really similar happened to me when I was getting off my antidepressants, couldn't sleep at all, pretty much had a dream while awake but I was acting completely impulsively, more like I was watching things happen then doing things deliberately.

Yeah, I'm guessing it was stress induced. The thing that has me slightly worried is that I had a shorter similar moment sitting on the couch last night where I blacked out for about five minutes. When I came back to reality, I was at the bottom of the list on youtube and was pressing the down arrow on my remote in time with the ticking of my clock. Weird stuff.

Damn dudes. Hope you guys are ok!

I'm trying to figure out how I can get out of my stupid ass job this summer, and into something/anything that's even a bit better. I'd take the exact same pay (but no less, or I can't pay my damn bills) with less stress....

Part of me wants to work hard and figure out how become successful at something (I have a couple ideas...) but the other part of me hates money a LOT and would rather run away to India or some shit. I don't even know if the latter is possible I'm just frustrated and tired of feeling like I'm between the proverbial rock and a hard place. I have zero problems with working my ass off if I know things will get better through it, but how the hell do I increase my quality of life without playing along with the mass-induced psychosis that is the financial structure we're stuck in? I mean, i seriously feel like we're all playing Monopoly, only with actual consequences.

I have a severe infection in my face, and can barley stand up. I have to go to work now, since none of my coworkers want to work for me.