ilovefuzz.com

neonblack wrote:Motherfucking LAL 88 got delivered to the wrong house. No clue which one.

I was looking at the wrong tracking number

That's good! Right? When are you getting a gomorrah?

It is good! I'm not sure yet about the Gomorrah. There are so many other fuzzes I wanna try.

But I got the 88!

spacelordmother wrote:

neonblack wrote:Motherfucking LAL 88 got delivered to the wrong house. No clue which one.

Maybe they already know who you're going to flip it to?

GOLDEN BERN

If someone would buy all of my musical gear, I would sell it to them right now. Just box it all up and get rid of it. I've played guitar for half my life at this point. My Russian Big Muff has been mine for 19 years is the only thing I currently own that I've had for over 5 years. I'm not frustrated or depressed. I'm the happiest I've been in years. I just have no desire to play anymore. I'm not going to join a band or record songs or do anything with all this gear. I've just sort of hoarded all these toys and it doesn't bring me any joy. There are worse things than having lots of pedals and guitars and stuff. I just feel like my time as a guitar player is over, like it is time to move on.

chuckjaywalk wrote:I just feel like my time as a guitar player is over, like it is time to move on.

Wait a few years before selling your stuff. I have often heard people say that who really sold their stuff afterwards. And a few years later they kick their ass for having been dumb as shit to do that and they have to purchase everything again.

Okay. I habe been sober for over a decade now. Straight edge for a while, but sorta gave that up when i stopped feeling like a fit with that cultural milieu, but i am an alcoholic and cannot drink. Tried a sip three years ago to see if my feelings or brain chemistry had changed, they had not. As an aside, two days ago was the five year mark of the murder of one of the few straight edge people I actually liked. Played a show tonight, saw a recently unsober friend drinking for the first time, saw my band mate drinking, a partner, an ex, realized that as i hit 30 i have no sober friends left, and it just hit me like a fucking ton of bricks. I don't know how to be around alcohol anymore, but asking friends for that space feels like an untenable imposition on them. I just feel like a mishmosh of horrendous feelings and guilt about my desires. My boyfriend came over to talk to me after i started writing this and helped me feel better, buyt still, fuck

Pepe wrote:

chuckjaywalk wrote:I just feel like my time as a guitar player is over, like it is time to move on.

Wait a few years before selling your stuff. I have often heard people say that who really sold their stuff afterwards. And a few years later they kick their ass for having been dumb as shit to do that and they have to purchase everything again.

I've been in this mindset since the Fall. I'm definitely giving it until the end of May before I seriously consider it. I'm at a real crossroads in life and part of me thinks this might just be part of shedding my old self.

psychic vampire. wrote:Okay. I habe been sober for over a decade now. Straight edge for a while, but sorta gave that up when i stopped feeling like a fit with that cultural milieu, but i am an alcoholic and cannot drink. Tried a sip three years ago to see if my feelings or brain chemistry had changed, they had not. As an aside, two days ago was the five year mark of the murder of one of the few straight edge people I actually liked. Played a show tonight, saw a recently unsober friend drinking for the first time, saw my band mate drinking, a partner, an ex, realized that as i hit 30 i have no sober friends left, and it just hit me like a fucking ton of bricks. I don't know how to be around alcohol anymore, but asking friends for that space feels like an untenable imposition on them. I just feel like a mishmosh of horrendous feelings and guilt about my desires. My boyfriend came over to talk to me after i started writing this and helped me feel better, buyt still, fuck

I've been sober for almost 7 years. When I decided this, I did not decide I cannot drink. I decided I am choosing not to drink. That way I am in control. I can drink absolutely. I just don't want to.

My friends who drink either stayed a part of my life and understood that I no longer would be doing that, or got out of my life. It was their choice. I am 33, almost 34 and I do not go to bars, I don't hang around people who drink, and I'm ok with it. I'm being true to myself. Fuck everyone else. They can deal with their own bullshit.

So what I'm saying is be true to yourself and know your limitations.

Also if you consider yourself an alcoholic, then it will never change. There's an acceptance there and we will not be able to drink ever again unless we want to be led down that same old path.

Good to know there are others on here. I have a complex relationship with the term alcoholic and its components. By cannot drink i meant more, "this action would be incredibly detrimental to my life and friendships."
It feels hard when most of my closest people drink, just maybe not around me that often, but I utterly want to respect the autonomy and individuality of my friends. I wish that my friend's recent decision to start drinking after never having a sip in 28 years didn't feel like a personal loss, bc i know it isn't. Just hard to cope some nights.

Upside i have a dream team of friends who have my back.

Ugh. I'm just in a shit mood. I was hoping making that new neck for my tele would give me a boost in one way or another, but not so much. I just don't feel like playing, haven't been able to write anything, I've let my voice go to shit, no gigs, no jams, no recording, no new projects.

I don't know. I feel like I still haven't figured shit out after my fiancée and I split, and it's going on five months now. I'd just like to not feel shitty for a little while.

psychic vampire. wrote:Good to know there are others on here. I have a complex relationship with the term alcoholic and its components. By cannot drink i meant more, "this action would be incredibly detrimental to my life and friendships."
It feels hard when most of my closest people drink, just maybe not around me that often, but I utterly want to respect the autonomy and individuality of my friends. I wish that my friend's recent decision to start drinking after never having a sip in 28 years didn't feel like a personal loss, bc i know it isn't. Just hard to cope some nights.

Upside i have a dream team of friends who have my back.

I get ya! I just know how I have to be you know.

I used to go to AA religiously and then realized all they do is bitch about how they can't drink. hahaha. I found peace in church. A lot of people do it in other ways. I still get tempted every once and awhile. I'm not going to lie. It's not always easy. But I'm thankful.

You are not even close to alone either. I know others here who have the same type of demons. You're in good company!

A server died at work. I wish it was me instead.

jwar wrote:

psychic vampire. wrote:Good to know there are others on here. I have a complex relationship with the term alcoholic and its components. By cannot drink i meant more, "this action would be incredibly detrimental to my life and friendships."
It feels hard when most of my closest people drink, just maybe not around me that often, but I utterly want to respect the autonomy and individuality of my friends. I wish that my friend's recent decision to start drinking after never having a sip in 28 years didn't feel like a personal loss, bc i know it isn't. Just hard to cope some nights.

Upside i have a dream team of friends who have my back.

I get ya! I just know how I have to be you know.

I used to go to AA religiously and then realized all they do is bitch about how they can't drink. hahaha. I found peace in church. A lot of people do it in other ways. I still get tempted every once and awhile. I'm not going to lie. It's not always easy. But I'm thankful.

You are not even close to alone either. I know others here who have the same type of demons. You're in good company!

Thanks. I know i am not actually alone, just easy to feel that way. I am fortunate to be surrounded by respectful and supportive peers. Just had a really rough patch and taking stock of my self, thinking psychiatry might be really helpfuL, which is pretty different than how i felt. Need to figure out ways to make it thru work shifts alone, too.

i am deeply distraught about the loss of my talk to cops... poster. similarly to the near destruction of my my FYF 2010 poster with Converge and Torche...