ilovefuzz.com

Please, don't be ignoring me. Please, don't be ignoring me. Please, don't be ignoring me.

I have no idea what to do anymore.

RIP Dottie

Call me egocentric but I'm starting to think playing in and booking shows for others people's projects/bands really isn't that rewarding at the moment. I played my first gig with a band I do bass for in a sold out club last night and all I felt afterwards was emptiness and today I'm just really disappointed although nothing went wrong. The other project I do "stand in" duties for have a gig coming up in two months, but we need to rehearse now since the key member will be away with his other band and get back just before that gig and I've just not enjoyed rehearsals or even the music we play the last 3-5 times. Is it that time of the year or should I rethink (my "muscial") life? I've lived for playing in bands ever since I got into my first one, but I'm not sure it's fun for me at the moment.

Quite a small issue in life in general, but still, it's got me confused.

Fuck thieves.

PanicProne wrote:Call me egocentric but I'm starting to think playing in and booking shows for others people's projects/bands really isn't that rewarding at the moment. I played my first gig with a band I do bass for in a sold out club last night and all I felt afterwards was emptiness and today I'm just really disappointed although nothing went wrong. The other project I do "stand in" duties for have a gig coming up in two months, but we need to rehearse now since the key member will be away with his other band and get back just before that gig and I've just not enjoyed rehearsals or even the music we play the last 3-5 times. Is it that time of the year or should I rethink (my "muscial") life? I've lived for playing in bands ever since I got into my first one, but I'm not sure it's fun for me at the moment.

Quite a small issue in life in general, but still, it's got me confused.

Listen to your gut. If it's not doing anything for you right now, maybe it's time to take a step back and reassess what your musical life needs right now. You could end up finding a new outlet for music, or just taking a break could reinvigorate your desire to perform.

Welp, I guess my relationship or whatever you'd call it is over. I'm just being ignored. Gotta love long distance. Oh well. It felt really wonky and non existent since I moved in August. Even when she me visited in October. I'm just sitting here thinking should I have moved? (I *really* needed to get away from my mom) Or, what the fuck now? Some closure would be nice. I guess. I'm also such a sap that I'd accept an excuse if she does get back to me.

Don't, it sets up a horribly toxic presendence. Not to mention it'll be a cloud over your heads for a long time. Trust me on this one.

You're totally right. I just gotta accept what's happening and move on.

Yes, yes. It can be really hard to accept something ending, it's pretty conditioned into us that a relationship ending is like a death and that we should fight to keep them going, but sometimes it's just a natural part of growing and learning and living, and a relationship ending could be recognized as a joyous thing, it means you have had (hopefully) lovely times, but you recognized changes in yourselves. I know most people don't want what they did 5 years ago.

This is a way of viewing it. It also bites.

It always a major source of stress in my life, not due to her, but due to my own inability to properly care for myself. The added factor of caring for another person actually brought me more out of equilibrium than I realized. I'm thinking now about the anxiety I was feeling just about going to pick her up from the bus station when she last visited and how I don't need that I my life.

And maybe I'm just a weakling who doesn't know how to spend his time except overthinking things.

We shall see tonight, hopefully...

I just want to keep loving.

"This is a flawed system for a business. If people call my direct line others can't pick it up."

me: "So you want everyones extension on everyones phone."

"Yes."

JUST FUCK ME UP FAM.

Welp I tried holding out. It is over-ish. Oh well. One less thing I guess. Like I said it was also a stress factor, now to wrestle my self generated anxiety and depression.

waltdogg wrote:Welp I tried holding out. It is over-ish. Oh well. One less thing I guess. Like I said it was also a stress factor, now to wrestle my self generated anxiety and depression.

Sorry to hear. But like you said, at least you'll get rid of a lot of stress and have time to focus on yourself now. Stay strong. If depression feels like its getting too heavy, don't hesitate to throw me a message. I'm serious. It's nothing wrong with feeling like shit at times. Just don't let it get the best of you. Hang in there!

have to be circumspect but you ever have one of those days where it seems like everything is going well and then all of a sudden the world goes "hey fuck this guy"?

Yeah that's today. Not rad.