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Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 7:17 pm
by Iommic Pope
No lecture this week......fuck me.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 7:22 pm
by Jwar
Iommic Pope wrote:I considered meds a couple of months ago....opted for counseling instead.
Best idea I ever had.
Most anxiety stuff is cognitive. Unpack that, come up with some strategies to deal with it. Meds if that doesnt work or you have a diagnosed chemical imbalance.
Because of my psych background I'm very wary of meds. And meds without effective behavioural intervention are pointless.



You could be like me and be on fucking anxiety medicine for 10 years, come off of it in a treatment center (along with alcohol, the real reason I went) and then end having to take the shit again because your dad almost dies and you literally can't function anymore.

It doesn't help being bipolar either.

Lately my anxiety has been through the fucking roof. Like sky high.

I'm a personal trainer part time (you know because I can't seem to make it otherwise) and I had a panic attack while I was with a client yesterday! Panic attacks are not easy to shrug off. I've had them last over 8 hours and gone to the hospital. That's been years, but I don't know what's going on with me lately. I had to just pretend I was fine even though I was freaking out for no reason and thank GOD it passed.

I do have a diagnosed chemical imbalance though. Sucks ass. :( I try not to let it hinder my life though. I actually think sometimes it makes me work harder than others. It's a crap shoot.


FUCK THE POLICE!!!!!!

Sorry...that was a mood swing. hehe. lol

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 7:36 pm
by goosekevin
Yeah my brain chemistry is super off
I have had a really lucky life and nothing triggering or really bad has happened to make me super depressed and anxious, just fucked up genetics haha
My anxiety is way easier to deal with on medication, depression is the same with everything I've tried so far

EDIT: I do cognitive therapy too

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 7:41 pm
by Iommic Pope
It's all good man. My brother has the bipolar, I only got the major depression. I try to manage mine without the meds and like you I think it kind of motivates me to keep moving. I completely cave when I stop. I can be a real shit to live with though. I don't know how my wife does it.
Dude stress less about being a full time work machine and doing what everyone else does. Life is not this prescriptive fucking norm that people bullshit themselves into thinking it is. Worst part is they try and bullshit the ret of us into it as well. Do things at a rate you can manage and you'll do great. When you try and throw all your resources at everything all at once you'll run the well dry. It's like trying to pick up additional weight when you're already carrying other loads. You can only do so much. Be comfortable with that.
Anxiety hasn't ever been a problem for me until this year, then it completely derailed me. I'm learning to be comfortable with allocating less of myself to people's inane bullshit. For some reason I used to take it all to heart...I've since realized that the majority of people are assholes and the reason they expect a lot of you is so that they can do less themselves.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 8:45 pm
by dubkitty
my brain chemistry is screwed...i don't remember a time even in childhood where there wasn't some depressive thing going on in the background. it runs in the family: i think my mother would be diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, same as me, if she were still alive to be evaluated in full-on raging loony mode. i'm the only person in my family who hasn't been an alcoholic, and that's only because i don't care for alcohol that much.

i've done therapy for years. it's helped in some ways. but there's a level of depression that nothing i've tried seems to quell. it's always sitting there, waiting for me, like in "Crawling Up The Walls" by Radiohead. i think it goes back to being a sick kid--i nearly died of pneumonia twice before i was two--trapped in the hospital without my Mom being able to stay with me. i was all alone and terrified, apparently. they say this sort of early separation contributes to BPD.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 8:54 pm
by gunslinger_burrito
Iommic Pope wrote:I'm learning to be comfortable with allocating less of myself to people's inane bullshit. For some reason I used to take it all to heart...I've since realized that the majority of people are assholes and the reason they expect a lot of you is so that they can do less themselves.


So much this. It's been the theme in the back of my mind for the past couple months at least, and I hope to turn it into a regular part of my personality. I definitely let the people around me dictate how I feel too much. It sucks because I don't really go out anywhere when I'm not at work, and so when work is kind of shitty, even if it's totally fixable, if everyone else if freaking out, it doesn't matter how easy my part of the job is, I freak out too. Trying to knock that shit off. I only want to focus on the things that benefit me, unless someone I actually care about needs my help. But I do like to try and help people, so I end up posting in this thread a lot. So I hope that anything I have to say here helps anyone in the slightest. :hello: :group:

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 10:42 pm
by gunslinger_burrito
Gah!
I've been getting ready to hang my art up in a coffee shop all summer. Gotta hang it tomorrow or the next day and I haven't made price/title info or written anything about myself. So professional. :facepalm:

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 11:25 pm
by Chankgeez
Seller Notes: “Listing is for Left Cat Leg Only"

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Tue Jul 29, 2014 11:31 pm
by Sparrow
gunslinger_burrito wrote:
Iommic Pope wrote:I'm learning to be comfortable with allocating less of myself to people's inane bullshit. For some reason I used to take it all to heart...I've since realized that the majority of people are assholes and the reason they expect a lot of you is so that they can do less themselves.


So much this. It's been the theme in the back of my mind for the past couple months at least, and I hope to turn it into a regular part of my personality. I definitely let the people around me dictate how I feel too much. It sucks because I don't really go out anywhere when I'm not at work, and so when work is kind of shitty, even if it's totally fixable, if everyone else if freaking out, it doesn't matter how easy my part of the job is, I freak out too. Trying to knock that shit off. I only want to focus on the things that benefit me, unless someone I actually care about needs my help. But I do like to try and help people, so I end up posting in this thread a lot. So I hope that anything I have to say here helps anyone in the slightest. :hello: :group:


hey You Guys. thanks for posting all this the last few pages. you're Not Alone.
i've had issues with Depression and Anxiety for a few years. i've had a few panic attacks. those are Incredibly Scary.
i've not taken any Medication besides the self medicating Booze and Weed. and. i need to lay off the booze.
my GF of 5 years .. has Bipolar 1. and our mind sets can really clash sometimes.
we just recently stopped living together. we have a good relationship though :)

Breathing and Meditation can really help. i tend too think/ and over-think way too much. especially when i'm stressed out. and.. that's been a lot lately.
also. the over-said Exercise and Healthy living is Very important!! but . with Depression. sometimes you just don't give a Fuck. and. that's not cool.
Hobbies can help too.

Stay Strong Guys. for Real :hug:

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 12:43 am
by Twangasaurus
Wish I didn't have to take meds, they suck. Would be super extra dead without them though. Fuck benzos though, wouldn't get me back on that shit in a million years.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 1:11 am
by Iommic Pope
I call it med lotto. They either fit really well with a person or just don't work at all. Having said that, they're not all evil, as some of you have testified. My real problem is with doctors that roll people from one script to another and never even suggest counseling as an option.
Those are legal drug dealers.
Food and exercise are so important, as is meditation. I just gor into that. So helpful.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 1:16 am
by Twangasaurus
Yeah, most medication for psychiatric disorders are not the metaphorical scalpel most people that don't have to deal with them think are, they are more like a sledge hammer. Just kick the box in different ways until is sort of works, hope whatever the fuck is going on inside lines up properly.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 3:53 pm
by spacelordmother
Well, I guess it's time to BST my feelings.

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 6:19 pm
by skullservant
ITS BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL DAY

GIMME FOO
GIMME FAA
GIMME DAWICHADEZA

Re: The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread

Posted: Wed Jul 30, 2014 6:32 pm
by Achtane
skullservant wrote:ITS BEEN STUCK IN MY HEAD ALL DAY

GIMME FOO
GIMME FAA
GIMME DAWICHADEZA


BLAAAAAAAHNDED BAHH THE LIGHT
WRAPPED UP LIKE A DOUCHE
ANOTHER RUNNER IN THE NIGHT