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I just don't know how to process all these feelings in my heart. I'm overwhelmed and I can't modulate this out.

Nothing to be done about it, at least in my experience. You just kind of deal, and it sucks, and it sucks for a long time, but you deal with it.

D.o.S. wrote:Nothing to be done about it, at least in my experience. You just kind of deal, and it sucks, and it sucks for a long time, but you deal with it.

I guess I should preface with "I have Borderline Personality Disorder, so I am especially bad at digesting negative emotions." Group and individual therapy, medication, and DBT books all make me stable enough to live, but things like this really test my limits. I need to let it out.

good that you're into the DBT thing. it helped me a LOT. BORDERLINE BROS 4 LYFE

dubkitty wrote:good that you're into the DBT thing. it helped me a LOT. BORDERLINE BROS 4 LYFE

I'm lucky that there is a practice specializing in BPD 8 blocks from my office and that my insurance covers it. The facilitator for my weekly group sessions actually wrote the workbook we use. If it wasn't for the Lilac Center, I'd be out of control.

^It's cool to hear you're getting the help you need chuck-dude.

Tonight, I had to say something to my supervisor about a guy who left is cube smelling horribly like a dirty rabbits' cage. We have a no-scent policy and normally I'm not one to rat out my coworkers, but I'm not particularly sensitive to smells and I was nearly puking on an empty stomach.

The silver lining is that my supervisor knew what I was saying before I could finish it. And she also said my description was better than any other she's heard.

Also, I am simply atrocious with homonyms rite now.

Scotch hangover, uuuugggghhhhhh

I was watching this clip I've had on my old external forever of this fairly good looking girl stuffing up to three fingers in her cooter, but simultaneously I can hear my favorite episode of Home Movies.

Its a mixed emotion thing.

snipelfritz wrote:I was watching this clip I've had on my old external forever of this fairly good looking girl stuffing up to three fingers in her cooter, but simultaneously I can hear my favorite episode of Home Movies.

Its a mixed emotion thing.

Yeah, like when I noticed that Dynasty Warriors 4 was paused in the background of some homemade porn I saw once.
Those scrubs weren't even at Hu Lao Gate yet. Where's the dedication?

chuckjaywalk wrote:
I guess I should preface with "I have Borderline Personality Disorder

I was going to ask if you were bipolar. You and I are "mental cousins", as I have bipolar 2, which means we share many of the same symptoms. Sorry you're struggling with this. I hope you reach a point where you're able to process this and heal.

chuckjaywalk wrote:I guess I should preface with "I have Borderline Personality Disorder, so I am especially bad at digesting negative emotions." Group and individual therapy, medication, and DBT books all make me stable enough to live, but things like this really test my limits. I need to let it out.

Ouch. My HS girlfriend had BPD and it was absolute hell on both of us. Good that you're getting help, she didn't until long after I left to go to college.

BPD seems to be manageable. I've been lucky and not tested since I started therapy. 2% of the population has Borderline Personality Disorder and only a quarter of us are men. It presents differently in men and can be hard. I feel normal sometimes. Other times, I'm the life of the party. The problem is, when I go dark, I go very dark.

Finals crunch time, I've got a hangover from drinking too much after studying for too long yesterday, a cancer sore in the back of my mouth, and a tonsillolith that I can't get loose. After I get done with my last final I'm going to do nothing for a week to recover from this year. It's been awful.

On the upside, I got a waterpick that's been brilliant for washing out tonsil stones. So my breath's a lot nicer and my throat's not sore from having those things festering in there.

terrible weekend where i couldn't do anything other than go to the grocery store and spent the rest of the time hiding in bed like i used to do in Pocatello. it occurs to me that i'm still really broken from that experience and have a hard, hard time doing anything positive. haven't played guitar in weeks now, and am even losing interest in smoking stuff. it's not a good way to live.

I got pulled over for speeding with an expired tag yesterday. I should have, by all rights, gotten a ticket, but I turned on the charms and got out of it. My Borderline charm has gotten me into a lot of trouble, but also out of a lot too. All I did was smile, make eye contact, speak when spoken to, and said 'Sir' a lot. I didn't make excuses, didn't admit to anything, and only gave the information I was asked for. Being a middle class white guy no doubt helped, but being polite and direct did, too. I noticed he had a wedding ring on, so when he mentioned the expired tag, I said "It's my wife's car. Women, what can you do?" and shrugged. He laughed and gave me a warning on both.

When I got home, my wife was less than thrilled that I had talked my way out of it. She wanted me to get a bit of comeuppance. I assured her that it will happen eventually.