The spite, hate, rage, apathy and mild irritation thread...

[D.o.S.]

A good friend of mine died of an overdose earlier this week.

I'm so sorry man.

That's fucking rough. Sorry, dude.

Thanks.

[misterstomach]

A good friend of mine died of an overdose earlier this week.

I've been through this too many times. It happened again six months ago. So fucking horrible. I know what you're going through. Sorry to hear it.

[snipelfritz]

Ugh, when you think something turned out totally alright and then it comes back to bite you in the butt.

[dubkitty]

A good friend of mine died of an overdose earlier this week.

a guy i knew online for years just ODed and died as well. now i'll never get to meet him in person

[dubkitty]

that feel when you're trying to sell guitars you love because you need the money to live.

[theactionindex]

A good friend of mine died of an overdose earlier this week.

I somehow missed this. Just wanted to say I'm really sorry man, the same thing happened to one of my close friends several months back.

[ryan summit]

yeah sorry dos
its such a shitty thing
as i get older
ods and suicides are becoming steady occurance
i grewvup with alot of emotionally instable people
and we joked about it back then
thought it was funny
and who cares if we died anyway
well i made it
and i fucking care
and i fucking miss them all
i feel ya kiddo

[dubkitty]

sometimes i wish i could die just so i wouldn't have to miss the people, lovers, places and lives that have come and gone during my life. a sad reality of life is that everything ends, and i don't do well with endings. every damn day i have memory flashbacks to my old home--i still reach for the kitchen light switch in the wrong spot, where it was in the kitchen of the Little House in the Redwoods--to memories of my ex when she still liked me, and to the times i lived when life seemed good. and it breaks my heart every single time. i have to tell myself to stop thinking about it. sometimes it works.

God, i don't want to be complaining, brokenhearted and full of suicidal ideation. it wasn't supposed to be like this, and in my heart the distance between the dreams i actually realized before they were lost and my reality is a measure of my failure and faults.

and having to try and sell guitars i truly love is so depressing to me that i cn't even go into the music room since i listed the guitars. it just makes me cry. i don't even feel like i belong in the room with all that equipment and me the useless fucked-up wretch.

[ryan summit]

yeah but if you doit
you make the people that love you
feel the way you do
about your peeps leavin you
thats the only reason im still here
couldnt do it to my mother
at this pointnin my life
i can say im glad i didnt
but 3 yeaars ago i hated my mother for still caring

[Twangasaurus]

Yeah, Mr Summit has the gist of it. It used to really annoy me when people said that committing suicide was a selfish act and I argued that it was also selfish that peoples continued happiness depended so heavily on my continued existence (and therefore suffering). While technically both correct only one of them could really be considered a bad thing by a mentally healthy individual and even that's a moot point considering that one doesn't at all cancel out the other.

I'm not good at living for myself. I have biologically based chronic depression and may be in for a lifetime of misery but since I decided I can't die I can only really try to learn how to live. It's either that or feel trapped in a life I don't want.

[AxAxSxS]

fucking a Summit. I was going to post a sob story about my trajic fucking existance.
Perspective, I was lacking it. I'll survive, shit just temporarily sucks.
Some people can make murder/suicide seems awefully damn appealing though.
Like, you know you'd be fucked but at least you could do the world a favor on the way out.
Fuck the fucking fuckers.
I'll be ok and will move on and they will remain in their psychotic self created hell.
Me parting ways with the army will put me in a much better place mentally and maybe I can put some of that baggage to rest.
My old LT got shot in the head and has severe residuals, dude plays with legos to help him regain the use of his hands and cant always put words together coherently. A couple of days ago he got in touch with me via FB and I can't bring myself to respond. Last time I saw him we were loading him into the MEV in Baghdad. Meanwhile I'm dealing with complete asswads just trying to get out so I can move on with life.
Loosing people sucks man. I feel for you guys who are dealing with recent loss. Ya gotta live for the living and care for the people who you can.
I think I need to see my shrink sooner than the next appt.
/babblerant

[dubkitty]

i didn't know you were in the armed services.

Yeah, Mr Summit has the gist of it. It used to really annoy me when people said that committing suicide was a selfish act and I argued that it was also selfish that peoples continued happiness depended so heavily on my continued existence (and therefore suffering). While technically both correct only one of them could really be considered a bad thing by a mentally healthy individual and even that's a moot point considering that one doesn't at all cancel out the other.

I'm not good at living for myself. I have biologically based chronic depression and may be in for a lifetime of misery but since I decided I can't die I can only really try to learn how to live. It's either that or feel trapped in a life I don't want.

right there with you. i have depression, borderline personality disorder (thus, the endless arguments i got in when i was first on ILF) and attention deficit disorder, the latter of which is untreated. sometimes i think the only reason i'm still here is that i promised my best friend that i wouldn't do anything without calling her first, and i know i wouldn't be able to bear her grief. but God damn, in my heart of hearts i don't want to be here. it makes it more dangerous because the only friend i have here has literally an apartment filled with guns. but i'm set that i'm not going to do anything like that unless it gets much worse than it currently is.

[misterstomach]

my truck started sputtering today and i had to pull over and put my last two dollars in the tank just to get home. two fucking dollars and now i'm flat fucking broke and not sure when i'll get more money. on top of that, i have a job and work all the time. and barely get paid. running your own business sucks so bad sometimes.

[dubkitty]

this broke thing sucks, doesn't it?

[theactionindex]

Story time with theactionindex.

I call it "suck dicks with your asshole, etc."